Just like a turtle hiding in it’s protective shell, the abandoned person needs to protect themselves from what feels like a physical attack on their well being.The stages of loss of abandonment are shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance.
Abandonment often leads to resistance towards letting yourself love anyone.
You don’t feel like you’re worthy of letting someone close and so you keep everyone away with a hardened exterior.
It blindsided me because I had chosen to be ignorant of how unhealthy the relationship had become.
I had invested so much of myself and my identity into the relationship that I felt as if someone had ripped out my heart.
They can even go as far as avoiding people who have the gift of intuition because they don’t want anyone seeing through their mask of being an emotionally stable adult.
To drive the point home in a more tangible way, I will share a personal story of emotional abandonment.
They enter into safe, arms-distance relationships where no one truly knows them.
They take a job where they excel so that they constantly feel needed and validated.
Everyone feels the pain of abandonment at some point in their lives.