One day he came home and told his wife that it was time to retire because he had been fired from his job.
She began to scream and yell, "You have given them twenty years of devoted service. " "For twenty years I've wanted to stick my pecker in the pickle slicer," he explained, "and today I finally did it! " "Well," he said with hesitation, "they fired her, too and she's going to retire." Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.
Laughter benefits the body, mind and intellect and the dominant emotions of pleasure, peace, love, and joy.
Hell, we've even been credited with ushering in an actual dating apocalypse.
But is there evidence to support these ideas, or have they just been drilled into us by the media?
And despite fearmongering about our generation's penchant for empty promiscuity, we're actually 40 percent more likely to believe emotional intimacy enhances sex.4.
Online dating is only for the most desperate among us. Most singles (53 percent) have made a profile at some point, and almost half (40 percent) have met a date online.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb, and for a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me".
The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir." The elderly driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control"As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?
That's an automatic fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket." The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on.
You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??
This is especially true for millennials: Fifty-seven percent more millennials than people of other generations have created profiles, and 75 percent more than baby boomers have gone out with someone they met online.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
If you believe the buzz about millennials—the group of people reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century—you've probably heard the statement that we're the generation that ruined dating.